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spideyluvr
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Name: Kimmi
Gender: Female
Interests: God and living my life according to His purpose for me, reading, MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC, singing my lil heart out, my outrageously amazing friends and family, writing my thoughts down (occasionally), hanging out with people, youth group, youth band, church, being silly, having a good time
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/21/2005
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| THE AMERICAN DREAM or nightmare? 
So this morning my dad, little sister, and I were driving home from dropping my car off at the shop because I am in DESPERATE need of an oil change (I'm talkin' nearly 4,000 miles overdue), and as we were driving around our quaint little city of Noblesville I rather absentmindedly watched all the perfect little houses (some not so little) zoom by the car window. If you've never been to Noblesville first off, you're not missing much, second it's one of the fastest growing communities in Indiana so houses and corporate buildings are shooting up faster than weeds all over this town, and they're all so perfect, you know what I mean? Nearly all the houses here in Noblesville are quite literally picture perfect. I'm talking manicured lawns and flower gardens, cute little shutters of various colors lining the windows, big front door with some sort of elegant and intricate window stuck in it, and so on. All of a sudden the whole idea of the "American dream" popped into my head. I have to admit, at the moment I don't feel very much like my family and I are really living this dream. The American dream was birthed in the 1950s where everyone just had to have 2 Fords in the garage, a white picket fence bordering their perfect emerald lawn, and a house all of their own with just enough room for everyone (maybe even a little extra). The man of the house had a well paying job and always looked like he could conquer whatever the world threw at him and the woman of the house cooked, washed, vacuumed, ironed, shopped, and was the backbone of the household and did it all in pumps and pearls. It's an understatement to say that the American dream has changed a bit over the years and yet, it really hasn't. We all want a well paying job, we want our own house with a nice yard and a garage certainly wouldn't hurt, and I think it's safe to say just about every American family has at least 2 cars in said garage. I say that I don't feel like my family and I are living that dream to the fullest because we don't have the house we've been aching for and we're definitely not some of the wealthiest people in the realm. We have a very nice little town house, but there's no yard, I don't consider the little patch of fenced in weeds behind us a yard, no garage so my car could get broken into any night (Haha that's more of joke, we really don't have a garage but the fear of someone breaking into my car some night is minimal), and things pretty tight if you get what I mean. Maybe my idea of the American dream is a little warped but I just don't see it.
Job (Job in the Bible) was living the American dream, so really if you think about it, it's not American at all. It's Uz. I mean that's where Job was from (look it up if you don't believe me) so I guess you could call it the Uz dream. Don't you just love my logic?  Anyway, Job was the richest man in Uz. He had 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 teams of oxen, and 500 donkeys. Not only that but he had about a bazillion servants and he had 7 sons and 3 daughters who were all probably gorgeous, not to mention he had a wife who probably the most smokin' hott woman in Uz. Job had it all. He was one of the first men to ever live the life that we Americans crave, some of us even die for it. Not only was Job insanely wealthy, but he was also extremely tight with God. He gave burnt offerings to God regularly on his children's behalf in case they had sinned recently or scorned the name of God. He was in extreme favor with God because he was so faithful and had such integrity. This is why Job is so well known and pretty much one of my heroes, for his faith in God, for the trust he put in God when God allowed Satan to take away all that Job had, his livestock, his servants, his family, even his health. His faith and trust were not shaken by his loss. After losing everything and having nasty boils bubble up all over his body this little scene took place:
(Job 2:9-10) 9 His wife said to him, "Are still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die."
10 But Job replied, "You talk like a foolish woman. Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?"
Woa. I don't know about you, but I just embarked on a bit of a guilt trip. Job lost EVERYTHING! He lost his 2-car garage, his picture perfect house, even his manicured lawn with the cute white picket fence and he still remains faithful to God. He takes the pain and the loss, the suffering and the anguish, it crushes him, it devastates him and somehow he still manages to say something like:
Job 19:25 "But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and he will stand upon the earth at last."
Man oh man. So no, I don't have THE American dream but I do have MY American dream. Part of that dream of mine is that we have an actual house of our own before I leave for college in a year but other than that, I feel as wealthy as Job. My family and I are served our own share of hardship that nearly crushes us and bares down like no other on us, but like Job we've put our trust in God. We know that our Redeemer lives and He's going bless us in so many more ways than He has before when we finally do get a house. Heck, that'll be the greatest blessing of all actually, a house..... | | |
| woa. xanga's come a long way since the last time i've been on here. Makes sense though since I haven't been on here in I'd say, over a year. Hah, craaazy. So I talked to my best friend Sela today on the phone and it was so awesome to hear her voice on the other end of the line! See, I haven't seen this girl since last September and if you ask me, that's waaaay too long for a girl to go without seeing her best friend. Well it just so happens that I'm finally going to get to see my dear dear friend THIS friday and I could not be more excited about anything right now. Not even the fact that today was the last monday of the school year and I'll be on summer vaca in a week. And just to prove how awesome God is, He's worked it out so that I'll be in St. Louis the weekend of my other best friend, Ashley's, birthday. Seriously, I couldn't even have planned it to work out like that! So I definitely can NOT wait until this weekend. However, I'm constantly reminding myself that I need to be living in today and in the moment RIGHT NOW instead of constantly allowing my thoughts and eyes wander to tomorrow no matter how enticing and bright it may appear.
We had a bit of discussion about that in my youth group last Wednesday night. Our leader Ashley asked us to scribble down a few questions or ideas we had for topics we could cover over the summer and one of the girls brought up the whole living in the now thing as opposed to living in tomorrow. She made a really good point and it's really affected me. Ever since that discussion I keep telling myself while yes I've got some pretty darn awesome things coming up in the near future, I can't let this moment this one day slip out from under me going unnoticed. I mean, I'm zeroing in on my senior year of high school, my final year as a high school student, and you know how pretty much everybody says that high school and college are like some of the best times of your life, and when you're older you look back and utter the rather classic cliche "remember the good times?" And yet at the time you never really noticed or recognized them to be "good times" until they've passed you by. I don't want that to happen to me, although I can assure you it already has. So I'm committed to living in the now and in the moment. I'm determined to recognize the good times big or small no matter what. This weekend I plan on cherishing every waking moment that I'll have with my friends since our time will be so painstakingly limited and I see them only once in a blue moon. Gah! I can't help it! I CAN'T WAIT TIL FRIDAY!! Haha
On a heavier note, I'm worried. I'm worried about a friend of mine whom I've basically lost touch with unfortunately, and the things I've been told about her make me even more worried, even scared. The things my friends and I hear and see break our hearts because we don't want to lose her, but she just doesn't seem to want to stop drifting further and further away from us. She has a new boyfriend, new crew of friends and with all that new "stuff" a new attitude has wormed its way into the mix as well and it's not particularly a comforting one. I keep hearing that she's changed and things aren't the same anymore. Those who were once the closest friends have now become distant acquaintances and it's so sad. It's so insane, all these curve balls Life throws at us so randomly and sometimes that hit a little too close to home. I might be seeing this friend of mine this upcoming weekend I've got planned and I might end up sharing my heart with her. I just think it's going to be harder for me than any of the others to try to say something that might echo in her head and miraculously stick like a tattoo on her mind since I haven't seen her in so long and don't exactly know the whole story. I'm praying for wisdom to say the right things at the right time, to be able to relate to my friend despite the distance that's barred me out of her life for so long. I'm also praying that God will make an intervention in her life. She claims she has given Him her life but, at this time such a claim seems a bit faulty. But I am no judge, so who am I to say who lives faithfully and who doesn't? No one special that's for sure....
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|  | Currently Watching
Peter Pan (Limited Issue)
By Bobby Driscoll, Kathryn Beaumont, Hans Conried, Bill Thompson, Heather Angel, Paul Collins, Tommy Luske, Candy Candido, Tom Conway, Roland Dupree, Don Barclay, Tony Butala, Norma Jean Nilsson, Karen Kester, Jeffrey Silver, Stuffy Singer, Thurl Ravenscroft, Margaret Kerry, Carol Coombs, June Foray
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3 more days til my universe is permanently altered. it still has yet to make a real gut-jurking affect on me. when it hits i'll let ya know.
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|  | Currently Watching
Aladdin (Disney Special Platinum Edition)
By Scott Weinger, Robin Williams, Linda Larkin, Jonathan Freeman, Frank Welker, Gilbert Gottfried, Douglas Seale, Bruce Adler, Brad Kane, Lea Salonga, Charles Adler, Jack Angel, Corey Burton, Philip L. Clarke, Jim Cummings, Jennifer Darling, Debi Derryberry, Bruce Gooch, Jerry Houser, Vera Lockwood
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Today my eng teacher told us to write an imagery poem for homework. I LOVE ENGLISH CLASS!!! i'm seriously thinking of majoring in eng lit. i luv that stuff!! but i was really excited about this particular assignment because i could write about whatever i wanted as long as i was descriptive. so of course i wrote about all that's going on in my life right now. here goes ....
CLOSER
A house that is no longer a home,
The walls now bare and stripped of their heart.
Boxes piled high on the floor below,
Taunting.
Sick, empty feelings eating at my heart,
Rooms slowly growing empty
Reflecting my emotion.
Our opportunity dancing in front of our faces
Like a puppet on a string.
Taunting.
I have to stand my ground,
Have to hold my shattering heart together,
With these two hands of mine.
I found myself on a cold bathroom floor,
Lights down low.
A leather-bound book in my hands
Singing hope and promises.
Words from Your letter echo in my soul,
I'm clinging to them as if they were gold.
My face now to the Sun,
I'll make it one more day,
Maybe another,
Because it is one more day closer.
Hope my teacher likes it. =] | | |
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You're just jealous cuz i have 4 eyes and you only have 2
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